Mermaid Days

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This is a picture of me from when I lived in Hawaii.

Today, I look out my window at another cold and rainy Pacific Northwest day. This has been like the rainiest winter in history up here. Even though the first day of Spring was officially yesterday (yay!), the weather pays no heed up here. It still looks and feels like winter – and I am over winter already.

After living in Hawaii for almost ten years, my husband Josh and I moved out here because we thought it would be better to raise our kids here – that there is more to offer them here. We have lived in Washington state for almost three years and we have weighed the two against each other and have come to a realization that there is no one place that is better to raise our kids. Where we belong is where it is best to raise our kids. The islands are like a part of us. The ocean is the closest thing to heaven on earth I have ever experienced. Josh surfs and is eager to teach our kids. I swim like a mermaid.

And so, we return to Hawaii soon (hallelujah).

I have learned so much through this journey, though. Josh and I have grown much closer – and we have grown so close as a family with our kids. The specific bond between us resulting from this adventure could not have been built any other way.

And the Pacific Northwest is a truly beautiful place. The mountains, the Sound, the pure air, the abundant water – the list goes on. It rocks up here.

Also on this journey I discovered my sensitivity to gluten, which has been life-changing. I understand my body more than I ever have, AND I learned how to make soup, and have since created some amazing recipes, which I will continue to share.

I will also post soon about the fiction books I published based on my mermaid days of living in Hawaii.

These pictures are of me on a boat in the ocean, setting out on a mermaid adventure. It has been a while since I have had a mermaid day, and I can’t wait to have another.

For now, we continue to hope for spring, even though we can’t see it yet. We focus on getting the kids though the last months of the school year – go kids! And I do yoga to light an inner fire to warm these CD days.Maybe I will go make a soup now. Wishing you a good first week of spring!

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Winter Warm-up Soup

It is cold up here in the Pacific Northwest! At the beginning of the month, we had some  days where the world was softened with white, sounds muted by the quiet snow. Now it finally feels as if  the heart of winter has passed, and that Spring is just around the corner. But it isn’t here yet, and I look out my window at another grey, wet day.

I haven’t written here for a couple of months. January was full of activity, with both my daughter and my birthday’s, along with all the regular busyness of raising kids.

Then, during  the snow days, both my husband and son got the flu. It hit my little six-year old and held him down for days. It was hard to take care of him at the same time that I felt his suffering, almost as my own. Thankfully that is behind us, and health has been restored!

How do we warm ourselves up and keep our internal fire burning strong through this cold season? As usual, my remedy is born in the kitchen. I had this soup in the crock pot during our snowy days and it truly fortified me for all that I had to take care of. My family LOVES it when I make this, and I know it fortifies them, too.

Rosemary smells amazing. It also has anti-inflammatory properties, and helps keep our memory healthy. Living with Hashimoto’s, a memory boost is much appreciated 🙂  Garlic is a wonder plant. It has anti-bacterial properties that give our GI tract a tune-up. Garlic backs up the ‘good guys’ within our micrbiome – the little world going on within our bodies. Pepper is a powerhouse this time of year. Black pepper helps dry out any excess phlegm in the system. It also gives our internal fire extra pep – something we all need this time of year in the Northern hemisphere.

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ON CUTTING VEGETABLES

I invite you to make this soup. Cutting vegetables is a truly soothing activity, so even if you feel too tired, or too busy to try making this, consider taking a Sunday afternoon, or any time you have free, and doing it anyway. Put on your favorite music, use it as a time to BREATHE deeply and evenly. It always amazes me how centered I feel while I’m cutting vegetables. Maybe having our hands on earth’s bounty somehow makes us feel more connected to the natural environment. Whatever the reason, making this soup feels like a healing activity for me. And it is YUMMY.

RECIPE for WINTER WARM-UP SOUP

First we create the broth. I have talked about the numerous benefits of bone broth in other posts. It will strengthen you from the inside out!

Broth

1. Buy quality grass-fed beef bones. Neck bones are fabulous, and it’s good if they have some meat still on.

2. Roast a few bones in the oven at 350 for 30 minutes, to bring out a yummy flavor.

3. Place bones in large stock pot and cover with 4 quarts of filtered water. You can easily double the amount by adding more bones and more water.

4. Add a couple tablespoons apple cider vinegar.

5. Let it sit without heat for twenty minutes. The vinegar will begin to pull minerals from the bones.

6. Add sea salt and ground black pepper. Bring to a boil for a couple of minutes.

7. Turn the heat to low, cover and let it simmer for 24 to 30 hours.

Soup Recipe

Slice three organic sweet onions and add them to a skillet with a tablespoon of olive oil over a medium-low heat. Add five cloves of garlic, and lots of fresh rosemary leaves. Sprinkle pepper over the mix. Stir often and let the onions lightly glaze.

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Cut up your veggies. I use lots of zucchini, some red potatoes, sweet potatoes or yams, purple potatoes and carrots. Put these veggies into your crock pot. Scoop the top layer of fat off your broth with a ladle and pour it onto your veggies, careful to keep the bones out of the crock pot. Add the onion mixture, a generous amount of additional pepper, a few more garlic cloves, and sea salt to the pot. Browned beef chunks are also an option; I personally like it without beef chunks better, but both ways are good. Simmer on high for five hours, and enjoy. You can turn the heat to low and keep it in the pot for 24 hours, eating as desired. Keeping this in your system for a couple of days will fortify you, warm you up, and make you strong! The picture below shows my soup right as it’s starting to simmer in the crock pot. After it’s cooked, it will look more like stew. Oh so good!

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A Clear View

Today and tomorrow I am doing a mini-cleanse. I am only eating two foods at each meal. While this sounds boring, it is very beneficial for the digestive system to take a rest from sorting out how to digest a bunch of different foods, especially if our system is sensitive. And, there is no starvation involved in this cleanse; it is nourishing as well as healing.

There is a lot going on for people right now, and a lot of information out there to be ‘digested’. Not only does our body have to digest and assimilate all the food that we eat, but our system must also digest and assimilate all of our experiences, including what we read or pictures we see. It is healthy to give our bodies a rest. Eating simply allows this to happen. As the physical body has less to deal with, the energy can be turned to digesting other layers of stimuli and information, preventing back-up and overwhelm.

I made a big pot of Kitcharee (I’ve written about this dish in other posts) – a one-pot meal developed in India. Sometimes I use more spices, like in the recipe I gave previously. But this time I made a simpler dish, using only turmeric – the amazing spice with powerhouse health and anti-inflammatory properties – and pepper. A little pepper tastes wonderful with turmeric, and it  assists the body in deriving top benefits from it.

I also made a delicious soup. At each meal, I have a bowl of Kitcharee that I heat in my cast iron skillet with a little ghee, and a big mug of my soup, which is so creamy and nice to drink from a mug. This soup is very healing and nourishing, with a bone broth base offering many amino acids and minerals that the body can use to repair itself, as needed.

If you decide to do a little cleanse, we can cheers our mugs together, virtually.

Using a journal can be very helpful when we cleanse. Thoughts and emotions may surface, and writing about them makes it easy to sort them out, or release them. This time of year supports the practice of letting go of what no longer serves us on the levels of body, mind and spirit. Just as the trees let go of their leaves in glorious bursts of color, we too can shed old layers with beauty and grace.

To make the Kitcharee:

1 cup uncooked organic basmati rice – soaked (Soak your rice in water for around 24 hours to make it easier to digest.Just before cooking, drain the water you soaked it in, leaving only the rice)

1 cup  green mung dahl – soaked (Same process as with the rice) This legume can be found in the bulk section of a good health food store. It is the easiest lentil type food to digest.

5 tablespoons organic ghee

3 tablespoons organic turmeric

one half tablespoon black pepper

1 teaspoon sea salt

8 cups pure water

To prepare:

In a big stockpot, melt the ghee over low heat.

Add the turmeric and pepper, continually stirring. When the mixture has a paste-like quality, add the rice, stirring it in well. Stir in the mung beans. Add the water and salt  and turn the heat up to high. Allow the mixture to boil for about three minutes, then cover and turn the heat down. Simmer for around forty-five minutes, until the water is gone and you have a soft porridge.

For dinner on the two days of my cleanse,  I saute some zucchini in a little coconut oil to have with the meal.

To make the soup:

First make broth, which is a 24-hour process, but quite easy.

Use quality, grass-fed beef bones. Neck bones with a little meat work well.  Roast 3 or 4 bones in the oven at 325 for 30 minutes, to bring out a good flavor. It’s fine if bones have meat on them, this is good. Place bones in large soup pot and cover with a quart and a cup of filtered water.  Add a tablespoon apple cider vinegar. Let it sit without heat for a half hour. The vinegar will begin to pull minerals from the bones.

Bring to a boil for a few minutes. Then turn the heat to low, cover, and let it simmer for 24-30 hours.

24-30 hours later…

Cut two butternut squashes into a couple inch long cubes, no peel. Toss these in melted ghee to lightly coat them. Roast squash for forty minutes at 375, stirring with a spatula after twenty minutes.

When squash has fifteen minutes left, put four cloves of garlic in their peels on a sheet and stick in the oven.

Squish the garlic out of the peel and into a blender with a cup or two of the broth. Add some roasted squash – you will probably have to do it in batches – and puree until creamy.

Pour this into a crock pot. Add a few pinches sea salt.

Simmer on low for four hours.

Both the soup and the kitcharee can be stored in the fridge and warmed up over the stove as needed.

A pic of my mug of soup, and one from the hike we did last month. A figurative new viewpoint is likely after we complete a cleanse. A clear view is inspiring.

Halting the Inflammation Train

It is my two year anniversary of being hive-free. Yes, a strange event to have an anniversary for, but if you’ve ever had a health issue that took months or longer to resolve, you can relate. I had hive flair-ups all over my body, every single day, for one year, and then one day they went away, never to return.

During the year when I experienced the hives, I felt tired and groggy constantly, even when I first awoke in the morning. Life was an uphill battle – just the little things took extreme amounts of will to accomplish. I remember looking at the clock at 9:30 am and thinking I am way too tired to make it through this day. Even though I was only thirty-eight, I felt very old, like the best part of life was behind me. Not a fun, or productive, way to live.

Today, while still aware of the underlying condition that caused the hives, I feel vibrant and alive. The here and now is fulfilling. Exhaustion doesn’t hit me until 10 p.m. when I happily crawl under the covers feeling that a rest has been well earned. I’m actually excited about life – I know that while I have already lead a full life with many awesome memories and experiences, the best is yet to come.

What I now know is that an autoimmune disease was part of the underlying cause of the chronic hives. But I believe that at the root of my problem was chronic inflammation – the inflammation was a precursor to the auto-immunity. Our bodies use inflammation as a mechanism of defense against unwanted intruders or pathogens, but if the wrong factors are present (like poor diet and excessive stress) and the inflammation train gets going, it can accelerate to destructive levels. Once this train is going out of control, it is not easy to calm it down. Inflammation is only meant to be turned on when the body is in real danger, not chronically.

Two years ago I did what is called an ‘elimination diet’. For thirty-one days, I ate only organic bone broth soups with vegetables, cooked vegetables, simple 3-ingredient, blueberry smoothies, and an Indian dish called Kitcharee. On day seventeen of this month, the hives did not show up, and I have not seen them since (celebrate).

After the elimination diet, I slowly added foods in, one at a time and only one every three days – it can take three days for the body to adversely react to a food. My body was fine with all the foods I added – granted, I have stayed with a whole-food, gluten and dairy free diet this entire two years. As hard as this sometimes is, I feel so much better without the inflammation, I refuse to get that train going again.

A lot of us live with low levels of chronic inflammation. This presents as sluggishness, a little extra weight on the body, aches and pains, low libido, bloating, and a general lack of passion. It is interesting to consider ways to calm the inflammation, to care for ourselves in such a way that illnesses such as autoimmunity and other chronic yuckiness do not develop in the first place, or to keep the symptoms calm and dormant if they already have.

One simple practice is deep breathing. Christopher Bergland, author of The Athletes’ way: The Biology of Bliss, writes about deep breathing in his article, The Neurobiology of Grace Under Pressure. This article is about the Vagus Nerve, a very interesting subject. This nerve wanders from the base of the brain down through the body, touching several key organs along the way – including the heart. He writes, “A higher vagal tone index is linked to physical and psychological well-being. A low vagal tone index is linked to inflammation, negative moods, loneliness, and heart attacks.”

He also discusses how diaphragmatic breathing increases vagal tone.

So, pull up a cushion, silence the cellphone, and treat yourself to some deep breathing. Even five or ten minutes a day will give results. First simply observe the current rhythm of your breath without judgement. Due to the hectic pace of modern life, most of us function on a jagged breathing rhythm. After noticing this for a minute or two, begin guiding the inhales and the exhales to a smooth, even rhythm. Counting the length of the inhales and the exhales and nudging them to even is one method. Sometimes it is nice to have the exhales be slightly longer and to envision stress being expelled from the body with the breath out.

This simple exercise will tone the vagus nerve, signalling to the brain and heart that all is well. Practicing regularly has huge impacts on soothing inflammation and promoting well-being – I know from experience.

This is a picture  our family out hiking in August. I am grateful to feel well again, so that I can live my life in the fullest way possible!

 

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The Healing Power of Yoga

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I have been practicing yoga for over twenty years. Teaching for the past two has been an amazing experience. Going into the yoga room is like pressing the pause button on time – as we settle into the breath, synchronizing its rhythm with the movements, our worries fall away and stress melts. We stretch, twist and bend. We push our personal boundaries as we expand into the poses.

Lying still for five to ten minutes at the end of class allows the benefits of the practice to sink in, body, mind, and spirit. We leave feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, ready to enter back into daily life with a whole new perspective.

If you’ve never tried yoga, I recommend finding a studio and giving it a try. This is an excellent way to manage stress, that thief of health and wellness. It may not be possible right at this moment to eliminate daily stress, but it is possible to control our reaction to it. The breath awareness and coordinated poses that yoga offers will give you a new way of dealing with life. It transforms us from the inside out.

To Metabolize Experience

I’ve always loved the snow. The way the light reflects off of the crystalline surfaces, creating small sparks of color; the way each snowflake is uniquely shaped; how when it lays on the ground, its individual flakes merge into a soft blanket of white.

It seems like each of us is as equally unique as a snowflake. I’ve always noticed this among my friends – I am blessed with amazing friends – some I’ve been close to for as long as twenty-five years, others I met in Hawaii more than a decade ago, some I’ve know less than a year. I love friendship and it is healthy for women to have strong friendships.

One thing I have noticed, is that five women can go into one experience together, and come away with five versions of memories of the experience. The rough details and outline is the same, of course, such as where and when the event took place, the sequence of events, the weather.

But most of the fine details differ in the varying recounts of the same event or experience.

Why is this?

Ayurveda provides an interesting explanation: Each person is unique. We all are born with individual constitutions, we react to experiences differently, we have our own perceptions as to what goes on around us.

We ‘metabolize’ experiences in our own way. There are several levels on which  a person must metabolize the events and relationships of their lives. And we all do this with our own set of background experiences, viewpoints etc.

True health occurs on many levels. An important one is how we relate to the people around us. If we keep in mind that everyone is seeing things from their own vantage point, maybe we can open up great conversations and ask what someone has experienced, and then learn and grow from their answers. We can do this with love.

If they do the same for us, solid relationships built on trust and  understanding can be built.

Our health will benefit!

Reset Your Digestion and Assimilate Your Life

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December is here! There is something unique about this month. Another year, wrapping up. Tis the season to take stock of all that has occurred, to allow it to sink in. Wait – most of us barely have time to breathe this time of year, let alone reflect!

But, every experience must be digested. The obvious association with the word ‘digest’ is food and the digestive tract. However, everything we go through – all that we read, the conversations we engage in, the experiences we have –  must be processed. The physical system of digestion is but one mechanism used for this type of purpose; there are also the spiritual and mental levels. These levels are equally important, if not more so, to our health and well-being.

We are overwhelmed with news right now. Information is coming at us so fast, there is no time to assimilate it on top of our already busy lives. And so,our systems are becoming backed-up at alarming rates. This is impacting the state of our collective unconscious. We are collectively clogged up.

How can we remedy this? The benefits of meditation are gaining solid, scientific backing. Slowing down, even for a few minutes a day, and simply breathing deeply can help immensely.

Another way we can give our overloaded body/mind/spirits a chance to properly assimilate everything, is to give our physical digestive systems a rest. Between parties and festivities this month, consider eating only an easily digested food for a couple of days. As the digestive system rests, the other areas have a chance catch up – to deal with all that we are being forced to deal with.

Here is a recipe for Kitcharee – the perfect food for this type of reset. I make up a big pot and save some in a glass container in the fridge to be warmed up throughout the day. The idea is to eat nothing but this food. Water and tea can be consumed, but this reset only works if we truly give our bodies a break from sorting out myriad foods and additives.

Give yourself a rest, on the level that you can affect, while still engaging in your busy life.

 

Simple Kitcharee

Ingredients

1 cup uncooked organic basmati rice – soaked (Soak your rice in water for around 8 hours to make it easier to digest. Drain the water you soaked it in, leaving only the rice)

1 cup  green mung dahl – soaked (Same process as with the rice, but dahl can soak for 24 hours) This legume can be found in the bulk section of a good health food store.

5 tablespoons organic ghee

2 tablespoons whole coriander seeds

1 tablespoon whole cumin seeds

3 tablespoons organic turmeric

1 teaspoon sea salt

7 cups pure water

To prepare:

In a big stockpot, melt the ghee over low heat. Add the coriander seeds and cumin seeds, stirring continually. When you hear the coriander seeds begin to pop, add the turmeric and salt, as you stir. When the paste is mixed together, add the mung beans and stir them in well. Now add the rice, stirring well. Add the water and turn the heat up to high. Allow the mixture to boil for about three minutes, then cover and turn the heat down. Simmer for around forty-five minutes, until the water is gone and you have a soft porridge. You may add steamed veggies of any kind, except for white potatoes, to add variety.

 

 

Autumn: The Season of Soup and Spice

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I love this time of year in the Northern hemisphere: as the wind grows cooler and the leaves become tinged with the colors of warmth, the Crock pot reappears on my counter, diffusing the scent of spice and delight into the air.

One year ago I was in the middle of my elimination cleanse. After a lifetime of eating a gluten and sugar-rich diet, I constructed my cleanse over the course of a year. Gentle makes sense to me, when dealing with an issue as sensitive as what we eat. Everything we ingest goes through the process by which our cells are built – they regenerate, on average, every seven years. This regeneration process is constant, and the very fabric of our bodies – the cells- are fed by the nutrients extracted from what we eat.

And so, changing our diet, means we are changing ourselves. This metamorphosis requires much support.

In September of 2014 I eliminated practically everything from my diet, including: gluten, sugar, processed foods of any kind- only whole foods were allowed, meaning only ingredient lists of one ingredient.  Recipes such as the one offered here, were allowed, because they were homemade using whole ingredients -no store bought sauces or spice blends.

Soups felt like life-savers.  The healing properties in this soup fortified my weakened small intestine and made me stronger than I have been in many, many years. Allergies, autoimmune conditions, fatigue and thyroid disorders will all be pacified when the gut is strong. Thus, this soup is a powerhouse of healing.

Using homemade bone broth for the stock is where you get the deepest healing value. Slow cooking animal bones extracts minerals that are rejuvenating for our digestive system, cells, and connective tissue. The collagen in the broth literally heals us, from the inside out.

Turmeric is a natural anti-inflammatory. Cooking it on low heat with the ghee releases the healing properties of this amazing spice. Cinnamon, while adding flavor perfect for this season, also has the power to bust through candida, and kill it. (Candida is out-of-control sugar in the gut- a problem many of us in today’s world face.)

So, put your music on, light your scented candle and savor the Autumn season with this healing soup.

Bone Broth

Ingredients:

4 or 5 beef neck bones – make sure the beef is grass fed

9 cups filtered water

1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar

1 tablespoon salt

Directions:

Heat oven to 350. Place bones on a glass baking dish and bake them for 30 minutes to extract flavor. Place roasted bones into a large soup pot. Pour water over the bones. Add the apple cider vinegar – this helps extract the minerals from the bones. Bring pot to a boil. After five minutes of boiling, turn the heat to low and add salt. Allow the bones to cook on low for around 20 hours. You can also use a Crock pot for this process.

Autumn Healing Soup

Ingredients:

1 large butternut squash

2 organic sweet onions

3 tablespoons organic ghee

1 tablespoon organic turmeric

2 cups homemade beef broth

1 can organic coconut milk

2 tablespoons and 1 teaspoon organic cinammon

1 tablespoon sea salt

Directions:

Peel and cube the squash. Steam the squash until easily pierced with a fork. Meanwhile, cut onions into long slices. Warm ghee in a frying pan (cast iron is the best) and add the turmeric. Warm the ghee and turmeric over a low heat, stirring. When they are blended into a paste, add the onions. Cook onions on low until they are translucent and soft. Place the softened squash, the onions and the broth into a food processor or high-powered blender and puree until smooth. Place this puree into a Crock pot. Add coconut milk, cinnamon and salt and mix well. Simmer the soup on low for three or four hours.

Enjoy, and be healed!

To Calm Inflammation and Relieve Stress

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I just listened to a talk by Dr. Datis Kharrazian. Have you heard of him? He is a genius, and he seems to genuinely care about helping people with autoimmune disorders. He researches extensively, as well as maintaining a private practice.

Today he said that “Stress is a powerful immune triggering event.” This is an extremely important statement. He talked about environment, relationships and thoughts, as potential stress inducers. And he kept reiterating how real the stress/autoimmune connection is, and that it is now proven scientifically. That’s right, it is proven that stress causes a chemical reaction in the body that turns on, and turns up, autoimmunity. When we consider how much stress people are under in today’s world, that becomes a big wow statement.

I believe that lifestyle choices are the most important aspect in treating inflammatory issues, including autoimmunity.

And so, even though I still take my thyroid hormone prescribed by my doctor, because my thyroid gland is sluggish and I need that extra boost, I feel 100% better now than I did one year ago, even though I had been on this prescription for nine months at that time. This is because the factor that makes us feel the worst is the actual autoimmune mechanism itself, which is in no way affected by the hormone replacement. We can take that little pill, and get a boost in our thyroid hormone, which will definitely help us to feel better – provided we are converting and absorbing said pill, which is a subject for another post. However, it is impossible to achieve true healing and wellness unless we calm the autoimmune reaction and the inflammation.

This is where lifestyle comes in. The human body is so amazing; it is delicate, yet strong and resilient. When we are sick, we feel it; we are tired, in pain, irritable, joyless. And when we are well, the good feeling extends into every layer of our being. Our cells seem to dance with life, we have passion. We are more aware, more conscious, and even more spiritual. Taking care of our bodies is paramount – we only get one. I love the saying by Mae West, “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” In order to ‘do it right’, we must be well!

Dr. K. talked about how when there is inflammation in the body, the most vulnerable tissue is that of the brain. Let that sink in for a moment, and then ask yourself, “is it important to calm the inflammation in my body?”

When asked for tips to keep our brains healthy, he again referred to stress management. He talked about ‘facing the problems in your head.’ That is also a subject for another post, as Ayurveda has excellent remedies for anxiety. Exercise, Dr. K. recommended. But, If you are really tired and worn out, this can be easier said than done.

One key vitamin that people with autoimmunity consistently lack enough of, is Vitamin D. Supplementing with a good vitamin D3 is very helpful. But, the best source of vitamin D comes to us in the form of sunlight. On the next sunny day, I invite you to go outside, and take a walk. Just walk right out your door and go around the block or down the road. Feel the light on your face, and know that the full spectrum of light is reaching into your very cells and healing them. Walk far enough that your heart gets pumping a little. This simple activity can change our lives!

If you are already a walker, hiker, biker or runner, that is fabulous. If you have autoimmunity, though, be careful not to over do it, as too much exercise can tax the adrenals, which in turn affects the thyroid. Allow your exercise to be nurturing.

A good walk or hike in the sun is some of the best medicine out there! If we can walk in nature, all the better, as the fresh air is wonderful for us. It is the simple things that bring about deep and lasting healing.

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When the Light Shines

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After I was diagnosed with the autoimmune disorder, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, I went through a dark time. It was depressing to try to accept that the lack of energy and brain fog I had been experiencing for almost a year would never go away. Not to mention the horrible hives that covered my skin every morning and evening that had not abated, even after being treated for this condition.

As a person who loves yoga, and understands the value of accepting things as they are, I was frustrated because something within my spirit refused to allow me to accept THIS.

I was so tired. I remember looking at the clock to see that it was 9 am, after getting my little girl off to school, and being totally overwhelmed. 9 am? But, I’m ready for bedtime NOW. You mean I have to make it through at least twelve more hours? The thought was daunting.

It was impossible to explain this to the people in my life. As they had nothing to relate it to in their own experience, I held my tongue, not interested in coming off as lazy on top of everything else. I knew I wasn’t lazy – just TIRED. There is a profound difference.

When I decided that I was not going to accept this state of being – NO WAY – I began researching and learning. As I empowered myself with understanding, it became clear what I had to do. I developed a year-long program to heal myself, because the more I learned about autoimmunity, the more I realized that it would take a year to heal. That the layers of complexity involved would take time to unravel, was clear. The body is remarkable and intricate, a puzzle to solve.

As I gained momentum in my year to heal, the darkness parted and the light shined through. It is amazing how when the light shines into a dark place in our lives, it is more beautiful than we have ever seen it: the brightness in such contrast to the denseness that it pierces, its triumph is invigorating.

As I emerged from the cloud of fatigue I was transformed. As I embraced a year to heal – even though it was hard work – my entire being was renewed. And so, the sickness becomes the catalyst for the greatest growth. If you are tired or sick or sorrowful, know this:

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls.

The most massive characters are seared with scars.”

   ~Khalil Gabrin

Once I was well past the overwhelming fatigue, the hives and the despair, and the light had shined into my life, I began to realize: this light has come from a place beyond the ordinary. There is more to it than can be understood with the intellect, or comprehended with the brain. This beautiful mystery is captivating, and gives life a feeling of underlying excitement. To discover the nature of this light is motivating, and engages us beyond our usual senses, carrying us into a state of wonder and aliveness.

“Sunlight fell upon the wall; the wall received a borrowed splendor.

Why set your heart on a piece of earth, O simple one?

Seek out the Source which shines forever.”

    ~Rumi